Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

To all men who had to live a drama they never understood and will never get to understand.
http://www.stlyrics.com/m/myfairlady.htm

"HIGGINS
What in all of heaven could've promted her to go,
After such a triumph as the ball?
What could've depressed her;
What could've possessed her?
I cannot understand the wretch at all.

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!
[To Pickering]
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
PICKERING
Hmm?
HIGGINS
Yes...

“Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?”
music by Frederick Loewe; lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Why can’t a woman be like that?

Why does every one do what the others do?
Can’t a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don’t they grow up, well, like their father instead?

Why can’t a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please.
Whenever you’re with them, you’re always at ease.

Would you be slighted if I didn’t speak for hours?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Never.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Well, why can’t a woman be like you?

One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then, there’s one with slight defects.
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit,
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!

Why can’t a woman take after a man?
‘Cause men are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.

If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?

Pickering
Never.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be like us?

[dialog]

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps;
Ready to help you through any mishaps;
Ready to buck you up whenever you’re glum.
Why can’t a woman be a chum?

Why is thinking something women never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?

Why can’t a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who’d been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing,
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I’m going?
Why can’t a woman be like me?

8 comments:

Tanya said...

Funny.

Anonymous said...

I think i have an answer. It's because there wouldn't be the better half to fix what the other half screwed up. I've come to the conclusion that men are haters cause they'll never have paradise at their feet. :) Eman H. Aly

Siama said...

highly offesive
:)

Ayman said...

Tanya and Siama, welcome to my blog :)
Eman, good answer. Haters or not, we can never stand drama queens :)

Aisha Shillingford said...

You actually know drama queens?

Ayman said...

Aisha, this is the story of my life :)

Anonymous said...

Why can't a women be like a man? The answer is simple. The world would come to a sudden and terrible end. (Hi Tanya!! Oh and Ayman. Anyone who agrees with the professor has something wrong "up there".)

Anonymous said...

I'm probably taking the comments too seriously, but this is one of my favorite movies, besides "The Terminator" series. It is an improbable love story. The sheltered (no experience around women) professor falls in love with a woman from the lower classes but cannot understand nor cope with the natural emotional roller coster of a women's existence existence. Rather than offensive, it is a classic tale of a person's difficulty or inability to deal with a person or situation that is different from their illusion of the world. Lighten up, it's a comedy. It's a love story. Things are only as offensive as you want them to be. I'm a little older and I still can't keep up with women's sudden emotional changes.