My niece is feeling much better

I was overwhelmed over the past few weeks with emails and messages asking about my niece. Thanks so much for your prayers and support. She is psychologically much better and physically doing perfect. The scars on her face will take very long time to heal and she will probably need a plastic surgery in few months to avoid having permanent scars. Thanks again for you support and prayers :) Please keep praying for her.

Put on your seat belt for God's sake

My sister had a little plan for a nice relaxing weekend. Her husband had just finished his PhD exams and they planned to spend a couple of nights in Port Said in a condo on the beach. They left yesterday in their little Hyndai; Ammar, 6 months, in his car seat, Sumaya, 4 years, right next to him with her seat belt on but she doesn't have a car seat. Forget about safety studies; we are Egyptians and we know what we are doing. If we think that 4 years is old enough not to have a car seat then we are right. Don't talk to me about statistics, it irritates us. We have a saying: don't count lest you lose the baraka (God's blessing). It is a saying that has no foundation or roots in Islam but for some reason, it is kind of a conviction. Anyway, half way through, Eman, my sister, decides to switch seats with Sumaya to feed Ammar. Eman forgets to ask Sumaya to put on the seat belt. Yes what you pictured is right; the four years old girl is in the front passenger's seat without a car seat or a seat belt. Her dad would not remember either because he was busy keeping himself awake but to no avail. In Egypt people don't usually drink and drive but they are fine with driving while sleepy. However, it is worthy noting that my brother in law has a chronic sleep-driving problem. He can't prevent himself from falling asleep on the wheels no matter how much sleep he gets before driving.

I don't need to tell you what happened next. It was just a matter of time before he hit a truck. The baby was safe, thank God. The driver's seat belt saved him and the mother was not hurt because the front seat protected her. But poor little Sumaya had a head trauma and broken glass pieces all over her face. She had a CAT scan which was fine and a 3 hours long plastic surgery for her face. We will only know how bad the scars will be after they take out the stitches.

Pray for little Sumaya and remember to put your seat belts on. Look at her pretty face and ask Allah to give her a speedy and complete recovery.

It is our prophet's (peace be upon him) teachings to take necessary precautions as part of trust in Allah.

A tribute to my teachers behind bars

Dr. Mahmoud, I know you may not read this but I felt that the least I could do is to write those lines. Dr. Mahmoud Abozeid, a professor of surgery in Cairo University medical school. I learnt a lot from him just by example. For me he was an example of dedication, sacrifice and most importantly decency. When I think of the word decent, he is the first I think of. He was a mentor of the student movement when I was a student at Cairo University. I used to bother him with my visits to his office late by night after he is done with his patients (doctors' private practice opens in the evenings in Egypt). He was so welcoming all the time and would stay for hours even if that meant missing his kids' bedtime. In my last year of school when the emphasis was on Surgery, I had to miss many days at school because of the political turmoil at the time and the conflict the government had with the student movement. He offered to help me with school. I used to visit him in his office around 10:30 PM at "my" convenience to discuss a chapter or more with him. His knowledge in Surgery was vast and his character just stood out. One time I asked him to give a talk and he said that he was busy all Fridays and every three months when the month has a fifth Friday, he has a meeting scheduled. With such a busy schedule he was still willing to give a talk during weekdays in the time slot between his morning work and his private practice in the evening. For an organized person like him and with such a busy schedule, tutoring me must have been way high on his priority list to squeeze it in like that. What was he thinking? I don't know. All I know is that I am so grateful and I am so full of guilt. I am grateful for him and for the movement that allowed me to know such a person. I feel guilty because what he gave me was a trust to carry over. I may not know why he gave me this kind of attention and time but I am sure he was thinking he was investing for the future. I am not sure I gave as much as I took, let alone give more. May Allah forgive us all. During my last visit to Egypt I couldn't find time to visit him and surely, I regret this so much. I pray that his time behind bars won't last for long and that in my next visit to Egypt, inshallah, I will be able to visit him in his office. Let me hope that by then, I would be able to make him feel that his investment was worth it.


Dr. Abdelrahman Saudi is another person behind bars who influenced me so much. Although I haven't had a deep direct relationship with him, I was deeply influenced by his character. He was an icon of generosity. He used to be very rich before the government froze all his assets. His house was hugely humongous and we used to hold meetings there all the time whether he was at home or not. Countless brothers and sisters had keys to his house and at one point they were welcome anytime of the day. He had more than a dozen cars but one day he asked for a ride because all his cars were in use for movement related errands. That was not an exception, that was his daily routine; giving and giving more.
One day I visited him at work and my sister came along. She had never met him before. As we left the office, I noticed tears in her eyes and an extremely delighted look on her face. I was surprised and when I inquired, she said: I have goose bumps, this is the "Ikhwan" I read about not "you". I asked her what did you notice that made you extremely taken by his character. She said: "I don't know, but he is just so kindhearted and extremely decent"

If people like this lose their freedom and their money, what kind of message is the government sending to the youth: "Good is bad and bad is good"
I ask Allah to free all of them, to give them patience and to return their money to them and multiply it for them. I ask Allah to give their families patience and to shower them with peace and tranquility.

Not thoughts they are heresies!! Not immigrant but alien

Yup, I am not an immigrant. According to the homeland security we are called Aliens so let me keep it that way for now. I think that my musings qualify more for heresies than thoughts. When I listened to Freeman Dyson's winter 2005 commencement speech at the University of Michigan, I could relate to him calling his thoughts heresies. Today, I think I will use that for my blog title :) I don't agree with his heresies; they are heresies after all but I like the idea. Once I call my thoughts heresies, I am free to scribble whatever I want :) Read my heresies but be careful, you may become a heretic yourself :)

Drum roll.........

Haris Tarin joined the blog world :) Round of applause please :) Haris is a dear friend, an active MAS Youth worker and works for MPAC. His only problem is that he is from California, no wonder it took him so long to create a blog :) Check it out, you will like it.

My Dad, I and a "cheesy" night

My dad is a gadget freak; really he is which makes me wonder if it is genetic. He had asked me to buy a video projector for him to take back to Egypt with him for the North Coast condos where he serves on the board of directors. They had this idea of playing children's movies every night during the summer time. They will buy pirated movies and charge a fee to raise money for the association. I am not sanctioning this but welcome to the world of no copyrights. He wanted a projector with high lumen to display a nice picture in an open place. Last night dad wanted to see a demo. Which movie do I play for a demo? Hmm…

Well, a few days ago, I was at blockbuster returning V for Vendetta that I had for more than ten days and I could hardly make the time to watch. It was the first day of spring break and everyone and their mama was in blockbuster. I had to stand in a very long line to pay my late fee which is now knows as "restocking fee", whatever. I used the time to browse the classics on-sale when my eyes fell on "Sound of Music". "long time fella". I haven't watched this movie for ages but I thought "that's a must buy". Well, don't get too excited, I didn't watch it that night or the night after. The DVD just found a new shelf to be placed on. You can't just spend a night alone watching such a movie. Last night though, it was picked for the demo. My dad was excited. We made sure we hook up the best set of speakers I had.

We only watched 20 minutes, but that was a blast from the past. I think I enjoyed it much more than any other time before. Every thing was perfect; the music, the dialogue, the humor, the acting, the picture, etc... Let me say everything was just glamorous. It felt like I was watching it for the first time.

Now that I think about it; who watches the "Sound of Music" with his dad? That's soooooo cheesy dude!! Anyway, we are heading to Chicago tonight and he is flying to Egypt on Monday so I guess we won't finish the movie nor will I watch it alone. The DVD is going back on the shelf until, I don't know, further notice I guess.

In the works........

I know I have not been blogging for a while which is actually bothering me. I have few posts in the works all saved as draft. Every now and then I go and edit or add a line or two. Inshallah, very soon I will bombard you with quite a few :). Until then please don't give up on me :)

Don't you ever "brother" me

Yes, seriously. What's up with this brother/sister thing that gets added to your name. Who invented it?!! When did brother become a title?! It is a beautiful word, but when did it become a title?! Sometime during the last century someone introduced this "innovation" to the English language. This is one of my pet peeves. Why is David Dave but Mohamed is Br. Mohamed? Why is Elizabeth Liz but Mariam is Sr. Mariam? Why do I respect everyone without adding to their names any titles but I have to add a title to my Muslim "brother" or "sister" to show respect. I have been struggling with this issue for a while and I discussed it with several people and here are the answers I got:

1- Respect: It is a cherished value in Islam and we need to respect each other and older people in particular.
Rebuttal: Are we respecting David and Elizabeth less when we do not add the br./sr. title to their names? Don't we respect our teachers and professors?! Don't we respect our seniors at work and don't we respect our neighbours?! Did the Prophet (SAW) show respect to people using elements alien to their culture? Didn't he use the very titles that they used to use to show respect to them like the Kunya (which means calling a person father of "his son's name" or something beloved to him)
2- Professionalism: In Islamic work we need to be professional especially across genders, thus the need to use titles.
Rebuttal: Why do we need to be professional in a different way from the rest of the society? People are very professional at work, yet they don't use titles most of the time. They only use titles sometimes in some settings with doctors, professors, judges, attorneys and some elected officials. However, most of the time in professional settings they don't use titles and they are very good at being professional.
3- Brotherhood/sisterhood: When we add the title we enforce the concept that we are brothers and sisters which is the bond that ties all of us as Muslims.
Rebuttal: Keep it real dude. As soon as I add the title I don't feel that bond anymore. You want me to feel the bond call me with my name or say my dear brother. You can put the word brother in sentence, it is such a beautiful word but please don't make a title out of it. When someone sends an email and signs, your brother it touches my heart. When some tells me "ya akhi" which is the Arabic for "my brother", I feel the warmth of brotherhood. One time a dear sister emailed me and signed "ukhtak....." (your sister), I was so happy and replied back thanking her. My brothers and sisters in Islamic work are as dear to me as my family and I don't add titles to my cousins names. If you are from a background that mandates giving elders titles and you feel uncomfortable not doing that with me (if I am older than you), then use the same title you would use for your older brother in your culture. In that sense if you are Egyptian and you feel that you can't call me by my first name, then call me "Abaih Ayman". As funny as that sounds, I won't mind it. If you are younger than that, I won't mind being called "3ammo Ayman" :).

Let me share this story about Umar, may Allah be pleased with him. He was off to a 3umra and the prophet (SAW) told him mention us in your prayers "ya akhi" (my brother) and Umar (RAA) said that he wouldn't have loved anything better than this "ya akhi". When the prophet (SAW) wanted to be very brotherly he didn't give him a title. Ever since I read this story, I can only relate to the word put in a sentence but never as a title, ever.

In our Masjids and communities we don't want to create an alien culture. We need to create an all inclusive culture of genuine respect and sincere brotherhood and sisterhood. What message are we sending to people of other faith when we call each other br./sr.? Are we telling them that they are not our brothers and sisters? Let's love each other but let's also make room for our fellow neighbours to come join us in our activities. Let's not create a culture that will stand out like a sore thumb but rather a culture where everyone likes to belong to.

So my dearly beloved sisters and my dearly beloved brothers, don't "brother" me anymore pleaaaaaaaaaaase.

Too busy to post ....yet here are some great posts :)

Just came back from San Jose......Is this heaven on earth or what!! It was the MAS Youth exec meeting and we didn't have time to tour the city, however the view of the mountains on the way from the hotel to the meeting place was such a breather for me. If you ever go down there you have to eat at this Afghan restaurant, there food is great. You may also want to stop at my sister's place, Kariman, to eat some lasagna....Canadians have something to contribute (this was an inside joke..sorry :)

I don't have much time to post anything but I think you should read this great post on Yaser's blog. You shouldn't also miss this pearl by Ahmed Deif.

Life is too short: Are we really aware of that?

I just came back from an absentee funeral prayer for Muhannad Jondy. Muhannad was one of the first people I met when I came to the US. I can't claim that I was close to him but I can say that I always had so much respect for him. People say that I am a good judge of character and I believe that Muhannad was a decent young man. May Allah shower him with His mercy and grant him paradise.
No matter how many times we come across a reminder like this that our life is too short and that death can come when you least expect it, I don't really feel that I internalized that meaning. I believe it, I accept it conceptually but I haven't internalized. That is very scary. We will never be ready to face Allah and be held accountable for our deeds but we have to reach a state of perpetual readiness for the hereafter. I am not there and that is worrisome. May Allah perfect our endings.
This is the second time in my life to pay condolences to a father for the loss of his son. If I can hardly express how tough this was for me, I am not sure you can imagine how hard it is for the parents themselves. The real consolation here is that the prophet (peace be upon him) said: إنما يبتلى المرء على قدر دينه which means that you get tested in life as much faith you have in your heart. I believe that this is a great family. The Jondies are a family of giving. I can't even list their contributions to everyone they knew. May Allah give them patience.
I had mentioned that I was expecting a month of emotional roller coaster but never in my mind did I think it was going to start that way. Please pray for the Jondies.

Busy and exciting

So inshallah, it is going to be three weeks of excitment. This weekend I am getting a bliss of warmth in San Jose, CA both physically and spiritually as I am attending the MAS Youth national exec meeting. On Valentine's day my dad will be arriving from Egypt...and yes it is just a coincidence in case you were wondering :). The weekend after that we have the MAS Youth Detroit retreat. I may be able to attend its second half. The weekend after that my dad will be away for business and I may go skiing with some of my Ann Arbor-Egyptian friends. Then, off to chicago to give my dad an ultimate winter experience. I will, inshallah drop him off at the airport on March 5 and like everytime I drop a family member at the airport, Iwill come back home empty hearted :(.

When I visited Egypt in November, I didn't get to spend time with my dad. Both of us are looking forward to this weekend to have some father-son time. I am sure he has tons of stories and I always have something to say :).

Now I am busy packing for the CA trip and getting my apartment ready for my dad :) then off to a month of excitment and emotional roller coaster.

Those are some more entries that I may bother you with.

Need some help!!

I have a couple of questions:
How do I add links on the side? and how do I link to other blogs?

p.s. I figured a way to do it thru editing the html of the template. Is there any simpler way that I am not aware of?

What does Ramadan mean to me?

(A post from last Ramadan)

Back in the day, I used to look forward to Ramadan and on the day of moon sighting, I used to wait in the masjid or in my room and make duaa.

I used to make sure I had special arrangements for Maghrib prayer before the moon sighting, just in case it turned out to be Ramadan, then this maghrib prayer would have been the first prayer in Ramadan. Similarly, I would spend the last few hours of Ramadan alone and make duaa. During those moments I really felt the true meaning of the Prophet's (SAW) saying: "Should my people learn what Ramadan truely is, they would wish that the whole year is Ramadan."

I missed this feeling for few years but this year I can't wait for Ramadan.......Allahom Balleghna Ramadan "O Allah, help us make it to Ramadan"

And I am back in the game :)

It has been a while since I last blogged. I almost abounded my blogspot. I have a friend who wanted to blog and asked me for ideas. I gave him an idea of a theme for his blog. He liked it and got the ball rolling. His blog got a lot of traffic and he got all excited about it and pushed me to re-blog. I have to admit that reading his blog, I got all excited about blogging again. I hope it will be more fun this time around, inshallah :). So I am back in the game my friends. I will start off with a couple of entries I posted few months ago on facebook. I will inshallah follow that these entries (not necessarily this order):
1- Little mosque on the prairie
2- Music in Islam
3- Gender interactions between the east and west
4- My trip to Egypt (may be several entries)
I am all open for suggestions as well :)

Caffeine is just not for me.

How miserable were my parents waiting for sunset in Ramadan to sip their tea or coffee. I grew up with a strong feeling that I want to get back at this terrible caffeine. My parents encouraged me and thus I never got used to any caffeinated drinks. I guess I am lucky to have given up on them. However, I missed a lot on one of the essential ingredients of today's dominant culture but do I care, heck no. I only care when I visit a friend and he won't have anything but tea to offer me. Instead of being a demanding guest I just drink it and of course because I am not used to the taste, I add lots of sugar but not milk. Should he have any milk, I would drink a cup of milk instead.
Last night I visited a friend and had my first cup of tea in a month. Reacting with my current anxiety due to the lots of things going on with my life, caffeine gave me the palpitations of my life. Oh, you don't want to experience that. Now it is 5:30 AM and I am too tired to study, yet I can't close those eyes. I guess I initiated this animosity with caffeine long time ago and whenever it gets a chance to hit, it hits hard. I believe that caffeine is just not for me. Is there anyone who hates caffeine as much as I do? Am I insane to hate caffeine? Should I just give in and be like everybody else and give in to caffeine?

Pre-Ramadan Musings

Reading through the last few chapters of Qur’an, trying to finish before Ramadan so that I can start a new round of Qur’an reading with the first day of the beloved month, I came across Surat Annajem (the star) and I remembered the story of the prophet (SAW) surprising the non-believers, one day, by reciting this Surah out load around the Ka'abah. Taken by surprise they just listened and at the end of the Surah when he recited: "Do ye then wonder at this recital. And will ye laugh and not weep. Wasting your time in vanities. But fall ye down in prostration to God and adore (Him)." They literally prostrated. Yes all of them, even those who were the worst enemies of the new message. Yet somehow when they listened, it touched their heart and couldn't afford but to do what Allah ordered them to; prostrate. I remembered this story and wondered; why is it that despite I believe in this message that I don't feel this strong urge to prostrate every single time I read the Surah. I believe that I read but I don't listen. Allah talks to us through his book but do we really listen. Do we give him our undivided attention? Those non-believers listened and thus Allah's words touched their hearts. Still reflecting, I remembered that scholars of Sufism said that the sense with the most access to the heart is listening. We need to listen to Allah, to our heart and our intuition. Unless we take the time to listen we won't ever do what Allah wants us to be doing even if we know it and we won't address our soul's needs even if we complain about it all the time. We need to listen to each other to open the gates of our hearts to what others feel and may fail to say. Otherwise, we won't be able to love each other.

As I sailed through, I came across this verse “Has not the time arrived for the Believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed (to them), and that they should not become like those to whom was given Revelation aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their hearts grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors.” 57:16. When this verse was revealed the companions cried and instantly replied “O Allah; Indeed it is time”. Still, I wasn’t moved as much as I should. Feeling how dead my heart is, I jumped to the next verse “Know ye (all) that Allah giveth life to the earth after its death! already have We shown the Signs plainly to you, that ye may learn wisdom.” 57:17. I read this chapter (Surah) several times but I was never able to make the connection between the two verses. This time I got it, Allah is telling me that there’s hope for me. I can be alive again. My heart that wasn’t moved by his call as much as the companions’ hearts is like the dead earth before it regains life when the rain falls. He who can bring life to earth after its death can bring life back to my soul and my heart. I just need to expose myself to His “rain”. The prophet (SAW) said “In the days of your Lord there are “breezes” (gifts), expose yourselves to them”. The days of Ramadan are some of those breezes, gifts or the “rain” that can bring life back to my heart. Will I expose myself to them? I am determined to and I ask Allah to help me. Ameen.

It is the Matrix, Stupid!

When I was in Egypt way before the US boycott movements started, I used to boycott US products. I started it to avoid a certain life style and culture. It was not the American Culture that I hated because I believed, and still do, there was a lot of good in it and it was not to take a political stance because I didn't believe boycott was that effective. When I moved to the US I just took a strong stance against impulsive shopping and going with the flow. I still didn't know what, exactly, I was avoiding. It wasn't until a couple of days ago when someone pointed it out to me so cleverly. It is the Matrix. I always hated the matrix and wanted to be real. Just keep it real. When I keep it real I feel free and I feel more connected spiritually and happy.

Oprah: Your life is altered

Everyone watches, used to watch or is addictive to Oprah. To tell you the truth today was my first time to watch more than five minutes of Operah. I don't think I will have the time to do it again but hey, I learned something very important.
One day someone dear to me had a big problem and told me: "my life is over" I tried to reassure but couldn't find the right words. Oprah said it today: " Your life is altered not over" That's very true and sometimes what we think is bad for us turns to be good but we will never know it until later. We just need to have faith and look at others experiences. How many had their lives altered because of their own mistakes and it turned out to be better for them?

Drive ins are fun

So every week I receive few emails from CAMP. For those of you who don't know what CAMP stands for, it is the Council of Muslim American Professionals. I always thought that these guys plan fun events. I always wanted to go but for some reason I didn't, which made me feel like a loser. Then I received an email about a drive in movie night with Biryani. I don't like Biryani and can't stand spicy food but a drive in sounds like a lot of fun. The CAMP people were so nice and I had such a great time. We had our chairs and we sat in the open air outside the cars. We could talk without disturbing anyone and we could move around freely. It was beautiful that day. Although it was my first time, but I found something I was missing, community. What is better than hanging out with fellow Muslims not worrying about being judged.

What does progressive really mean?

As I was completing my Naseeb's profile I had to answer few questions about my "Islamic" values and Naseeb's assessment was that I am "Progressive". What does that really mean? My Progressive friends think that I am so traditional and my traditional friends think that I am progressive. It is really confusing. What is more confusing is that I answered the questions following the opinions and fatwas of typical traditional scholars. Hmm, so if following the opinions of traditional scholars makes you progressive so what makes you traditional?
I was always under the impression that Traditional is an academic term for following scholars who studied and implement the methodologies of the traditional schools of thought. Obviously Naseeb has a different set of definitions. Anyway, the label doesn't really tell much about the person. There is another classification of values that is more important, like classifying people according to their rigidity and acceptance of others beliefs and values. That's more important to know. I won't mind to have friends having any values or beliefs but I would really avoid knowing people who would want to pressure me to endorse their values no matter how progressive or traditional their values are.